you are so lovely with pink hair...I always wondered why you dyed it~ now I have my answers ;)

I create art...so maybe I won't be forgotten?

I have no other way to say why I dye my hair pink other then it -is- me. I feel the most happy with my pink hair, have the best memories and I think it's one of the colours tht looked best on me. It's not bben pink for a while, I miss it a lot but it'll be back eventually. Blonde right now because I'm sad, bad tings happened and I bleached out my entire rainbow bang. Yeah, I'd like to say my hair really reflects me, and if you ask m closest friends what's my natural hair colour, they'd probably say hot hot pink. By the by, 18 female femmelezz in Canada. And the pink was always short, never long once when it was pink or any ther bright colour. I kinda just blogged my hair's life haha, but this brought it out of me lolz

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I am totally afraid of being forgotten. So my sometimes blunt, flamboyant behavior has it's reasons.

I am totally afraid of being forgotten. So my sometimes blunt, flamboyant behavior has it's reasons.

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You are so awesome. I can see your point about being shy but I think that the internet enables the shy ones a way to open up and express themselves that they wouldn't be able to do in person. However, I think that the young generation that is growing up on the internet may run into a problem when they get older with face to face confrontations. They are so used to being behind a keyboard that they won't know how to interact physically. Just a though.

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If I had hair, I'd be shy with pink hair.
Instead, I'm just shy.

@Heather
@Samantha

What I absolutely love is hearing how my "crazy" behaviors are not so foreign to a lot of people. We really are much more alike than we are different. ((HUG))

Love this vid Halcyon. I don't colour my hair to stand out but as you know I do many other things, including speaking my mind when others aren't. Disappearing is a fear for me.i am very shy in many ways too though as a performer many people wouldn't believe it. I believe it about you.

I was watching a great doc recently on youtube about Dusty Springfield and her drag queen over the top style was compensating for a whole lot, not the least of which was to hide her queer-ness and her not fitting in with traditional beauty or femininity.

I'm in the competitive world of exotic dancing where we are always judged. It matters to no one but me that I actually enjoy being a performer... however to not be judged against my beautiful coworkers I intentionaly try to look like a cartoon, stripperific, and or a living blow up doll... I do fun theme shows to distract from my flaws. YOu see confetti shoot out of my bra instead of looking at my thigh jiggle... and etc.
I was so shy, before I found a way to make people smile before I said anything.
It's easier to meet smiling people than grumpy snarling ones...

I luv your hair. My friend dyes her hair the same color, and now that I think about it, I've never asked why.

I'm trans, and when I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I can wield it around like a weapon.

I'm afraid I already have been forgotten.

@UpWithPeople -
"Over the years I've begun to open up more about my perceived weaknesses and vices and found that the only change in how anyone feels about me is that there's a better connection now." THAT is some deep truth!!!

@Lolita -- I hear ya. I find myself as a stabling and reliable model for some of my friends. I've been afraid that they'll learn that I'm far from perfect. Yet when I think of the people I most admire as stabling and reliable models for my life, they are wonderfully imperfect and open about their flaws. Over the years I've begun to open up more about my perceived weaknesses and vices and found that the only change in how anyone feels about me is that there's a better connection now.

It's not easy to show off your flaws to someone who looks up to you (and I still have a long way to go), but I'm seeing how important it is for everyone to see these realities. You can be even more admired and be a better friend when you share it all.

i dye my hair because it amuses me that i can. i like that i can have neon hair and still do my government office job. i can save lives and have an unconventional look. stand in the elevator with the director of the department, look him directly in the eye and hold a conversation without flinching.

plus, the colors come out really beautiful... and it makes me happy

@ Jami - ha! I love that!! It's almost like the "Inverse Scarlet Letter." To force yourSELF to be an outcast of the status quo. Here, here!!!

@SleepyDev I love that idea of replacing "shy" with "Mysterious!" (And now I want to see your toes.) ;)

@Lolita
I think we have very similar reactions to similar pressures.

And while you seem to feel judgmental about your "fake it till you make it" persona, I think that is a great way to act. WAY too many people surrender to being miserable. I think when you play the part of happy, you become happy easier...
p.s. I think you are normal and perfect. And mid-way on your path just as you should be. Sounds like you are an amazing person...and the only one who questions that is you. ((HUG))

I dye my hair pink for the same reasons.

I've never heard anyone else say they think it's a cowardly thing to do. People always tell me I'm so brave and outgoing for my style, but I know in my heart that I'm not. I'm just extremely attention starved.

The other thing I do for attention is pretending to be outgoing over-all. I say the most obnoxious things that make people either like or dislike me. I could shout out my most personal facts and stories to the whole world and not be ashamed. Then people think, "Oh wow, she's so brave. She really doesn't care what people think! She doesn't keep secrets at all." Really, my secret is that I'm a very average, normal person.

I pretend to be a healthy, normal person because my friends find me inspiring. They think I'm cool because I don't let anything get me down and I follow my own rules. I'm the virgin who doesn't drink, doesn't take drugs, and has good clean fun all the time, and I still look cool doing it. What nobody knows is that I drink every day when no one's around. I cry myself to sleep every night because I feel so useless and unloved. I hurt myself a lot. I couldn't stand to have my friends or family know these things because I want to be a beacon of light to them so badly.

It's 3 am right now. I woke up at 2 am because i couldn't sleep and I needed some rum. Tommorow, before I head off to school, I'm going to take my prozac and a vicodin. Then I'll live out the rest of my day in my own little world where I'm normal and happy. And everyone on the outside looking in will think that I'm normal and happy.

That's my confession. Or part of it anyway. I'm off to bed! Goodnight.

@Pera - What a wonderful way to force color into your life! Further proof that it is not the conditions of your life, but your attitude towards them. ((HUG))!

@d1jezek "the motivation was to look as different on the outside as i felt on the inside." Brilliant. I think we suffer a lot by trying to fit in (way beyond appearance.) So when we intentionally DON'T fit in visually, it takes off some pressure.

@Crystal "...made me realize that i don't really have to stand out." I *think* I'm making baby steps towards this. But it will be a long road. Nice to hear from someone farther down the path. Kudos!

@Elisa - Boy, you hit the nail on the head re: balance. I want to look unique, without being offsetting. Artistic without being offensive. Friendly without being freakish. :) Whew!!

@Dlove, your "costume of normalcy" may be the most dramatic of all! I envy the poor passerby who mistakes you for a "regular person" and then gets to be floored by your art.

I also dye my hair pink. I am disabled from several moderate-to-severe chronic conditions, am in pain most of the time, and am mostly housebound. I do errands once a week and see friends once every other month if I am lucky-- most days it's just me, the husband, and the cats. I cannot travel, can't go to movies (because the seats are painful and I can't afford a wheelchair-- and people are funny about people using assistive devices if they can walk at all, even if it's not very far or they're disabled in other ways), and my illness is slowly making us beyond broke.

Pink hair (and a myriad of other colors too) is what I do for me. It gives me a reason to look in the mirror and actually smile. It makes the Fat Woman With the Cane approachable to strangers, and gives the doctors' office workers something to gab about ("what color will it be this month?"). I swear, someday people will wager on my haircolor the way my mother and I used to wager on Mr. Rogers' cardigan color when I was a child. And it will be good. :)

Yea John, I feel similar. I’m naturally shy as well, but many people don’t know realize that about me. I think it’s because I routinely venture out of my “shy little box” and say or do the “unexpected” to intentionally throw people off. It can be as simple as a quirky story, joke, or comment… or doing something to my physical appearance… like wearing funky clothes or painting my toenails to be works of art. :) I do it to keep my “shy” characteristic a positive and endearing aspect of myself. So, instead of the negative connotation that the word “shy” elicits, I feel more “mysterious” and interesting to others… i.e. I’m cool yo. Haa. We should do whatever it is to make us feel good and confident about ourselves. As long as we aren’t hurting anyone, then go for it. Embrace your inner/ outer bohemian beauty!

p.s. always nice to see you doing new things :) ~hugs~

I dye my hair pink (Special Effects Atomic Pink actually) because I'm so much happier with strange colored hair than without it. When I have "normal" colored hair I start thinking that getting a job in an office might be a good thing. I want to avoid that stream of life as much as possible, I'm afraid that if I don't have odd colored hair, wear bright makeup and embrace my weirdness that it will lead me to living an icky normal life instead of the creative one that I work so hard at.

I didn't know that about you :) Using something loud to scare off people you probably wouldn't get along with is actually a great idea.

This makes me miss my funky hair! :-)

Great video. Thank you for it!!

That was an excellent video. You actually gave me stuff to think about... as in, why do I REALLY dye my hair pink? LOL I've never had a legit reason besides I like it, but thing syou said made me think. Thank you! I wonder what my outcome will be.

- Jessica -

Halcyon! I love you.

I dyed my hair full pink for the first time last year and loved it. But unfortunately I needed a job fast so I had to give up my pink for that convenience. I miss it horribly. I took better care of myself when I was pink. Now a dark brunette, I've just recently started to put some effort into my looks and I get a lot of attention. But I don't like the attention I get as a "normal" pretty girl. It makes me want to dress down and stop wearing make-up again.

You are incredibly insightful and I have so much respect for you. And regardless of your fears and insecurities, you know that there's also the magical truth about going pink. Its like coming home.

I'm just the opposite. I purposely dress down so that I blend in more easily. I don't generally like to draw attention to myself. I learned a long time ago that people will judge you on your appearance, so I try not to give any ammo to those doing the judging.That way, I can secretly infiltrate their organizations and take them down from the inside.

I'm terribly shy too, and my sexy hair causes (mostly) positive attention which forces me to engage people in the world and pulls me out of my shell. I try to find the balance between a respectful appearance and an independent and confident person who can look modern and sexy.

I love love love that you dye your hair pink. It really suits you like nobody's business. :)
I love the freedom of having my stylist dye a section of my own hair a complimentary shade of pink, and as a professional bona fide artist I feel that I can get away with this look and think I'm accepted by my clients, which is always a risk. I think that we're kindred spirits who share the freedom of being what we choose to be.

I think that you make the world more huggable and more beautiful with your art and love and positive energy. You could never be average and you could never be forgotten, Hal.

In highschool i used to dye my hair lots of different colors. for the same reason (but never pink...i had a phobia...too girly at the time..although neon pink is hardly girly)
Partly as a way to rebel (since i don't use drugs or alcohol and was a general goody goody) and also to stick out, so people notice me. sure i got stares but i loved the attention. being a child who was content playing by myself and being with myself until my younger brother was born and needed attention, i often felt left out of things or pushed to the side.

i'm also an artist and loved that i could wear my personality and people could see me.i used to wear all kinds of wonderfully artsy clothes as well, but that changed to jeans and t-shirt because they're the most comfortable. and with gaining weight since being skinny in highschool, they're easy, dont' require alot of effort. doesn't hurt that they're easy to replace if they get too much paint on them or rip or something.

i don't dye my hair as much anymore, partly because of lazyness and generally having a hectic life and partly since i had started meditation and went through a clairvoyant program, that in some ways made me realize that i don't really have to stand out.

i still have issues about being left out, but usually when i'm not left out its something i don't really want to be a part of anyways. and in reality i'm never really left out of the things and convos that i really want to be apart of. and so i'm coming to terms.

having your head colored is also just plain fun and i'm itching to get back to it. i suppose everyone has problems accepting themselves in some stances.

starting in the mid 80's and until i didn't have enough hair to play with any more, i experimented with many colors and styles. i've had purple, orange, green and yellow and some cuts that ranged from rockabilly pompadour through Robert Smith scare-do. For me the motivation was to look as different on the outside as i felt on the inside. Probably lots of gay folks have this aspect of their adolescence to deal with. Being visibly, performatively different lets people know at the outset that they should be prpared for someone who doesn't necessarily think like them.

@Neel- 4 years green! Woo-hoo! I wonder what they mean by "vibe?" I find that sometimes "traditional" people can be uncomfortable around me. Like, "you don't follow the rules...unpredictable!"

I dye my hair green.
I thought it would keep a certain type of people away, because I'm really social, and I feel really bad turning people down. I'm nice, but I don't know if I'm always honest with them the first time we meet. I think I am, but this is why I say first impressions are misleading. They'll be surprised later on by my behavior, but they took to me the first time around, and they don't like to leave too easily. I've been told I give out a 'vibe'.

Regardless, I love the green hair, and I'm going to keep it for as long as I can. I think I'm on my 4th year.

@Liz
There is a line in a movie, I think "Cool Hand Luke" when Paul Newman is asked what he is rebelling against.
He answers, "Whattaya got?"
;)

J.D.I.B. - Thank you so much!! I feel your pain. Even for the BRIEF times I've been non-pink during the last 6 years or so, I missed it terribly!!
But it is good to remember, at the end of the day, it is just hair. And Cherry Bombshell will be waiting for you in the next chapter of your life adventure. ((HUG))!

@BitterD - here's a tip on looking younger: Stop yelling "You Whippersnappers!!" at the kids on skateboards. ;)

@Hayne - Good for you! I'm a believer in bucking the status quo at every turn. It is so hard to question the norm, kudos for doing so boldly!!

Wow Halcyon, I wouldn't have guessed that you are the shy type. But to answer your question, I also dye my hair for the same reason. It started out for fun, but I kept doing it because I felt like it gave me more of an identity. The Girl with Purple Hair. Although I've also done green and blue and added some orange flair to the purple on more than one occasion, purple was my color. For the past 3 months or so my hair has been "normal," for no particular reason (though I do have a bottle of blue waiting back home for me for the holidays), and sometimes I almost feel like a quality if mine was lost. Even friends and some family members lament the absence of my purple hair.

I used to also wear a lot of jewelry. Necklaces with gems on them or lots of crazy charms, a beauiful enameled snake ring that belonged to grandma, things like that. Though lately as long I has have my massive silver thumb ring (that I made from scratch), I feel good; the amounts I used to wear before just got too uncomfortable.

In high school I also had (and still do have) a denim jacket with lots of patches of different classic rock and metal bands. I felt the need to let the world know what my music tastes were. I don't wear that jacket as much anymore, but I do have a plethora of rock/metal band t-shirts from the many concerts I've been too. My musical tastes are also crucial to my identity. Lots of rock and lots of classical (go clarinet!).

I love dying my hair atomic pink! The best thing about having pink hair is the reactions I get from kids. They get so excited! It really brightens my day. I also really like being remembered by people. It helps a lot to have a professor remember your name when you're in a class of 250.

But at the same time, all of the attention that my appearance gets makes me pretty self conscious. I catch people staring all the time and I can't help but wonder what they think. And part of me still wants to be accepted by the rest of society. Though, having alternative hairstyles has helped me thicken my skin a bit.

I consider my personal style to be a mix of state university/DIY artist/and cat lady chic. I dress this way... hell, because I want to. I will rock weird hair, jeans, flip flops and cardigans TIL THE DAY I DIE!

@Cricket - I hear ya on the monochrome dressing. I often joke that shopping is so easy for me, "Do you have this in pink? No? Thank you." :P

I am a social chameleon. I am deliberately different things to different people to purposefully not fit in. When my friends call me out on it, I'll just explain it away by saying "People just bring out differently qualities in me", but really I believe if I'm not "that crazy badass chick" or "the punk rocker" or any of my other cultivated personas, then I'm no one.

I am a social chameleon. I am deliberately different things to different people to purposefully not fit in. When my friends call me out on it, I'll just explain it away by saying "People just bring out differently qualities in me", but really I believe if I'm not "that crazy badass chick" or "the punk rocker" or any of my other cultivated personas, then I'm no one.

Oh Secret Confessions of the mighty Pink Haired One. Very nice. & Yet.. you're right.

You are the very best Pink Haired Halcyon Life Student there is. Amen.. & Amen.

Hey Halcyon! I've been reading/watching you post at the pink hair community on LJ for...wow, years. I guess about three or four years now seeing as I joined when I started dying my hair pink when I was 18 and I'm coming on 23 now. Time flies! (I've replied to your posts a handful of times, my handle is anotherstraycat) Anyway, you have never once struck me as a person who, even if you weren't a pinkhead, would be able to fade from anyone's mind. But I understand exactly what you mean. I loved having my hair pink for exactly the same reasons (I used to do a custom mix that worked out to about two thirds SFX Atomic Pink and one third SFX Cherry Bomb and earned myself the nickname Pink Bombshell. One day I'll earn it again). I have never felt bigger or brighter, more noteworthy, then when my hair was that blinding pink. It made me feel more comfortable in any surrounding because, as you said, it immediately made me unique and made me standout and was something that was just shocking enough to keep away small minded people and entice the rest to break the ice. No longer having that has actually turned out to be more of a struggle than I ever would have guessed. Sadly, I'm currently in a job that very pointedly bans fun colored hair in their dress code, but I'm only there for a few more months. I'm really looking forward to getting back in touch with the pink in my personality and social persona.

In the meantime though, I try to wear band tshirts as a way to spark conversation and feel out common interests in the otherwise faceless masses. They don't tend to be enough to make me much of a sticking point in anyone's consciousness, but I have had some great discussions which is an ok consolation prize (for now).

Coming back around...this, like all of your posts, has brought a smile to my face. I forget that there are other people out there who feel the same way about the same things as I do, and I really appreciate the reminder. Even though I'm not pink anymore, knowing you still are inspires me to find my nerves once more and go back to my self-appointed natural hair color.

Please don't ever lose heart!

I keep my eyes their original shape, but I dislike how difficult it is to play around with makeup. Koreans have a particular brand of beauty that I don't fit in with, and despite the fact that Koreans love the "natural beauty," the faces that I see are not natural, but are from plastic surgery. The appearances of adult Asian women from America and from Korea are so different, and what I don't understand is how some people prefer the unnatural beauty. Even I'm afraid that I'm getting sucked into the allure of that unnatural look.

So, I bleach my hair pale ashy blonde, to protest against the Korean standard of beauty now. If the "natural" look is in, then the pretty faces should include those who don't do plastic surgery and make their eyes bigger or their jaws narrower. Yes, I love the look of long, shiny, black hair, but it's a look that every Asian girl retreats to, because most are scared to go short and blonde. I bleach my hair to look edgy, confident, and modern. I don't want to blend in, because I don't want to "join them" and accept that their brand of beauty is the standard. I am completely different. I look completely different. I don't follow Korean fashion, or any fashion. I have my own style that makes me happy, and doesn't offend anyone at the same time. Even though blonde is a strong statement for an Asian girl, I show that it can be done gracefully and well.

OH HAL !! I don't see how you did that and NOT get it all over the place !! I did snicker when I saw the pink towel.
OK my confession. I have dyed my ahir black since I was 15 and don't know what my original colour is. I only wear black clothes because I find it easier to match, easier to shop for, and much easier to redye when faded. I hate shopping but LOVE thrift shops, especially the freaky ones. I refuse to look like anyone else or follow fads (but somehow still get stereotyped).Major confession. I HIDE BEHIND A HARD SHELL TO SHELTER A SENSITIVE INSIDE!!

Same with me :D

@Glenn - I think I get you re: controversial parts of jobs. I used to tell wacky consulting stories or webcam house stories as a way to week people.

@Becky - heh. sounds like we deal with similar things in opposite ways. :)

It’s gutys as hell to say something like that out loud. I think a lot of people feel like they are a single drop in a large ocean so they use their outward appearance to act as a gate keeper. I don’t do it with clothing but use aspects of my job which can be controversial. Like your hair, it either intrigues or freaks people out. But there is a side of me that knows it’s all done for the shock and awe factor. In a way it’s a signal that I need to become more than my job by actually being a more interesting person.

I dress in jeans and tee shirts so I am not noticed. You can't judge someone if you don't even remember meeting them. If I just look enough like everyone else they might not notice I'm so different.

Exceptional!

I bleach my hair so people think I am younger. It doesn't work. :-P

I hear you on the hair changeup. I used to go from mulletman to cleanshaven man to goatee man. Each transformation made a totally different group of people comfortable with me. I have also done the same thing with colored toenails. It's amazing what a change of color does to your audience. I almost feel like the singing frog in the cartoon. Some see a brand new amazing person and others see a slimy amphibian. Changing it up just switches the people who feel each way.

I never would have guessed that you shy, from all my years of reading your various websites! That is nice to know actually, because that is the quality I struggle most with in my own life.

@ qthral - WOW! You certainly can change it up. If you ever rob a bank with a beard, you can safely avoid being caught by staying shaved.

I periodically go from crazy lumberjack beard balding guy to shaved head goatee guy to clean shaven guy that is going bald guy. This means I run into people that think they know me or know someone that looks like me. The milk man theory may apply here.

More importantly, when I have the goatee, people think I look mad and it makes me a wee bit more intimidating when I don't smile. I am conscious of this effect.

Variation in appearance also keeps Federal authorities busy keeping those artist sketch people busy and employed. It's my contribution to the economy.

I have yet to find a use for Vasoline in this ritual:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcuthrell/290130206/

@Jessica - That is so true how one's "Shocking" baseline adjusts quickly. It's nice to have friends who can handle it!

I also dye my hair pink, except I use Atomic pink. :) But I don't know if I do it out of any fear, more because I really like looking down and seeing pink attached to my head!

I don't make any great strides to fit in, though. I notice that sometimes, I'll make bold comments just to see how people react, if I'm shocking anyone or not. Most of the time, I don't end up shocking anyone because I hang out with the same people all the time and they're used to me. :)

@Edrabbit - Yeah, I've never had much luck with Vasoline. Plus, Cupcake washes off easily. Atomic Pink, on the other hand is a STAIN MACHINE. My bathroom tiles are the proof. :)

@AGT - I've never heard of Dyzoff! Gonna check it out now. Thanks!

I dye my hair pink too (SFX "cupcake", sometimes other colors), maybe for the same reason - "afraid of being forgotten". I also never really understand why anyone settles for "normal" or "boring" when there's so much to explore and have fun with, but I know that's more about me than them.

Oh, and I rarely find the Vaseline thing (or other products like ColorScreen) actually works and is more of a hassle...I prefer to be careful and then use DyZoff afterward.

Peace.

I dye my hair pink too (SFX "cupcake", sometimes other colors), maybe for the same reason - "afraid of being forgotten". I also never really understand why anyone settles for "normal" or "boring" when there's so much to explore and have fun with, but I know that's more about me than them.

Oh, and I rarely find the Vaseline thing (or other products like ColorScreen) actually works and is more of a hassle...I prefer to be careful and then use DyZoff afterward.

Peace.

No vaseline around the edges to prevent accidental skin dying?! You're a brave man! :)